A Celebration of Life

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others’ shoes, if you feel that it hurts you it probably hurts the other person too. The happiest of all people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Celebration of Life funeral services offer an alternative to a religious funeral service. Whereas the traditional religious service is predominately doctrine a Celebration of Life service offers a personal, individual approach where the service is for and about the deceased. Whilst we sensitively acknowledge that we are there to mourn the passing of the deceased, the focus of the service is more upon a celebration of their life and, as such, leads to a service which is inspirational and uplifting for those who are left to mourn.

Content not being dictated by doctrine Celebration of Life services cover a spectrum from a secular humanist service to a spiritual service where hymns and prayers are included but where the focus remains on paying tribute to the life and the unique personality of the deceased.

Personal content in terms of music, readings and memories from family and friends is encouraged and guidance and support is also given for families who might wish to write the Eulogy themselves.

Time is taken to plan the service ensuring that personal wishes of both the deceased and the family are fulfilled.

To arrange for a Celebration of Life service please contact me prior to making the funeral arrangements at which time I can offer suggestions and provide guidance for organising the options available from conventional funerals to woodland burials, from crematorium to Church services. I will then liaise with your chosen Funeral Director.

Or Or specifically request your Funeral Director to contact me prior to the funeral arrangements being made so as to ensure availability

Having studied alternative spiritualities for many years and with a long background in lecturing in psychology and counselling I was first called to supporting the bereaved after my own Father passed away in 1992. My Father’s funeral service was typical of the day where a duty crematorium minister rang me the evening before the service and, with the greatest of intentions I am sure, talked to me for five minutes and the next day spoke about someone we found it hard to recognise in the minister’s words.

Having since suffered other bereavements of those close to me my much loved Mum passed away in 2000 and, as a family, we were determined to do better by her and invested the same amount of time in planning, structuring and writing her funeral service as I now do for the families that come into my care.

I subsequently completed training as a Funeral Minister and endeavour always to do the same for other’s loved ones as I would wish for my own.

Please feel free to contact me if I can be of any help in discussing your wishes

“Thank you so much for the beautiful service you gave for Mum, the way you included Mum’s life, family and friends, the light-hearted moments, the lovely verses and prayers, it meant so much to us all.” (Roy and Pat)

“Thank you so much for giving us a memorable day that we will all remember forever. You brought my Mum alive.” (Kerri-Ann aged 14)

“Thank you so much for the lovely service for Dad, family and friends have all remarked how nice the service was. Thank you for your support and kindness throughout.” (Jean and Dave)

"After a lot of time to think and ponder the recent events for my family, I felt I needed to communicate with you and relay my personal thanks, for the way you delivered and conducted my Dads funeral. The way you delivered and expressed the life of my father after the time you spent with my Mum, Sister and myself on that Saturday morning shows how you actually care about the personal circumstances of a Family in their time of grief and the service you as a person provided . My mum ( bless her) was absolutely overwhelmed with the way you conducted and sent my Dad to the place where no pain can happen anymore. As you are aware we do not believe in God. What you did for me and my family in those most special 20 minutes at Portchester will remain with me till it’s my turn (do I get a discount for an early booking!). What you provide for families like mine is so important in this painful time we all have to endure at some point in our lives. Please keep doing what you do well, there are thousands of people out there who believe in the same after life as you and me. Good on you Deb.

PS: I want to book you for my funeral service but ! ( NOT JUST YET ) I will contact you closer to my time!.

Best regards Dave Austin. on behalf of all the close family that witnessed your superb delivery and service at Portchester crematorium on the 24th January 2008."

Thank you for all your good work in carrying out the funeral service for Joan Wright; all of Joan's family and friends, without exception, commented on how well presented it had been. Personally, I felt that the way you conducted the service helped all of us to cope with what could have been a very traumatic event.

Thank so much for the service you performed for my Father, Billy Hadwin, August 26^th, at Southampton Crematorium.

I speak on behalf of my whole family, including my Mother, when I say the service could not have been better.

When we initially began to arrange my Father’s funeral we were very concerned that we might not give him the send off he deserved. We were worried about how the funeral would proceed, what would be said etc. We were all very tired from our experiences at the Hospital and we were all quite scatty, we were not organised.

From our very first meeting with you, you reassured us about these worries. We all felt we could talk openly to you and we trusted you immediately. You took the time to find out what kind of man my Father was. As a result the actual funeral day was perfect.

There was nothing hypocritical or stale or distant about the words you used and the story you told of my Father at the service. So much so that my Mother has asked me to ask you if you have a copy of service, what you said about my Dad. If you did have a copy and could email it to us we would be very grateful.

A lot of the guest on the day of the funeral commented on how warm they found the service and how much they had learnt about my Dad; all agreed you had done a very good job.

We will always remember you and recommend you and please feel free to use any of my words as a testimonial.

You made it easier for us to say goodbye and then to look forward.

Thank you

All the very best

Melanie, Cathrine, Robert and Kathy Hadwin

I would just like to Thank you for the beautiful service you done for Dad. I left feeling at peace and able to look back on cherished memories with a smile. Everyone I spoke to after the service also commented on the service saying how personal it was. My Auntie even said it was the nicest funeral service she had been to!

So Thankyou for making such a sad and dreaded day capable.

Love Trudy x

Domi and I remain grateful for all that you did for us and suffice to say we will never forget you.

With your agreement we will also recommend your services should circumstances warrant in the future.

Chris Roobottom

Hi Deborah.
               Just like to thank you for Monday. The service was really lovely and we are all very grateful. You summed our Mum up very well and we think she would of been pleased too. Once again thank you so very much and we couldn't of wished for a better Minister to bring closure to a sad time in all our lives.

Thank you

   Sean, Kevin, Jeanette, Sharon, Tony.

Kelly-Marie, Daniel, Ricky, Arron, Ashley, Kirsty, Stephen, TJ, Karla, Donna, Emma, Casey-May, Natasha, Louise, Amanda, Craig, Warren, Owen,

Hi Deborah,

Just a quick mail to say thank you for the lovely service which you gave.

I have had compliment after compliment that I organised a good send off for Jean, but it was your professionalism, dignity and poise which carried it through.

If anyone should ever ask me if I know someone who can conduct a non religous feneral service, your name will be at the top of the tree.

Again, many Thanks,

John & Marian

Thank you for your great support following the death of my mother,
Barbara. You immediately put us all at our ease when you visited to
talk about the service, sensing our grief and dealing with it in an
amazingly calm and sensitive way. Your eulogy at the crematorium was
most fitting, giving the whole service the right mood and atmosphere.
We all felt you got a real sense of mum across in a dignified, serious
but "light" way, which gave a real sense of her personality and love
for her family.

Bruce Sibley

Firstly I would like to say a huge thank you from all the family and friends who attended yesterday and those who unfortunately couldn't (due to weather). You were very professional and sincere, and you enabled us to all have a little chuckle and a tear. The service was as if it all came from mum's own mouth and I am very sure that she would be very happy with it. Every person that was there was touched yesterday at the beauty and peace of it all, this we feel was due to you. Again, thank you.

The Maslin family

I am unable to put into words how pleased we all were with the way you handled the ceremony for Tom today. It was quite simply perfect!!
Mum (who was a little apprehensive) has already requested that you take care of her when the time comes.
Everyone thought Tom would have approved.
Thank you so much for your kind words and assistance in making today a "special" day for Tom.
Regards Lynette

“And I would say to those who mourn – and I can only speak from my own experience – look upon each day that comes as a challenge, as a test of courage. The pain will come in waves, some days worse than others, for no apparent reason. Accept the pain. Do not suppress it. Never attempt to hide grief from yourself. Little by little, just as the deaf, the blind, the handicapped develop with time an extra sense to balance disability, so the bereaved … will find new strength, new vision, born of the very pain and loneliness which seem, at first, impossible to master.”

Hope floats
Even as things go downhill
And life becomes hell
Hope floats
Even as the world deserts you
And friends are few
Hope floats
Even as the only thing you have
Is a loneliness that is scary
Hope floats
Even as all seems lost and
Time remains a few grains of sand
Hope floats
Even as life seems beyond complaint
And strains of joy become faint
Hope floats
There may be nothing else to do
Than survive
And yet…as the self becomes distant
From the soul
There’s a voice that says
Hope floats...

(akshaya shah)